I have now been pregnant for one-fourth of the time that it takes to gestate a full-term baby. I'm having a hard time getting my head around that. Every day I still wait for the other shoe to drop, but so far, it seems planted firmly in the air.
I do FEEL pregnant now. I'm tired. So tired. It's amazing how tired I am. Not a bad kind of tired, just a very, well, tired kind of tired. I'm sleeping about 9 hours/night, and still having barely the energy it takes to lie on the sofa after I get home from work. I am still managing to go through the motions adequately at work, so nobody seems to suspect anything yet, but I suspect that I'm going to have to fess up soon, lest my boss begin to suspect that I've been replaced with a lethargic pod person.
I'm also a wierd combination of hungry and nauseous. The only thing that keeps the nausea at bay is eating every hour or so, so I'm constantly snacking. My belly is already growing, but I'm positive that's because of the vast quantities of food that I'm consuming, not because of fetal growth.
Being pregnant has put me into a wierd place, mentally. I'm thrilled to be here, but still can't really begin to take active steps that relate to expecting a child. I did get a few maternity things while I was in the US, but otherwise have made no concrete preparations. So, while it physically feels real, it's still hard to realize that the end product may (if I'm very very lucky) end up being an actual baby.
Really, I guess that when I look what I just wrote, it seems that I'm actually in a pretty good place. Heck, anyplace pregnant is a good place, isn't it?
A housekeeping note--I just realized that most of the blogs on my blogroll now link to pregnant infertiles or new mothers. This tells me two things:
#1) I might have to rething my policy of not creating categories. While I don't like the idea of having to decide when someone "graduates" from being infertile, it does seem to me that referring infertile readers to a list where they have a 90% chance of hitting someone pregnant without fair warning is a bit unkind.
#2) I've been a bit slack about seeking out people who are still in the trenches and need support. I'm going to try to do better about that.