Still alive

I can't believe that it's been almost a month since my last post. It's not my fault, I swear! I haven't had internet access for almost three weeks. THREE WEEKS! That's kind of like not having chocolate, or air, for three weeks. It's amazing that I survived. It'll take me weeks to recover from the trauma.

Anyway, I'm now back in the land of the wired, and have so many things that I've been dying to post about. It'll probably take me weeks to catch up. I thought I'd just start with a quick pregnancy/health update, though. Thanks for the sweet comments checking on me, and I'm sorry to have worried you with the long silence.

Long story short, all is well with my pregnancy and everything else. I've just been in a very remote area, and while we were supposed to have a satellite internet connection, it failed, so I've been stuck with no means of communication. Thankfully, though, I'm now back in Jakarta, and will be heading back to Seoul in a week, so that won't be happening again.

Pregnancy-wise, the main news is that I am now officially huge. I think that the technical term for my size is "ginormous". It is now obvious to the most casual observer that I'm pregnant, and several people have commented that they can't believe that I'm only five months along. (Can you believe that I'm five months along? Time really flies). Eggbert is clearly planning to become either a soccer star or the next Lord of the Dance. The kicks are now clearly visible from the outside, which is great fun for both me and Mystery. So far I've been spared a lot of the aches and pains that so many pregnant women suffer (knock on wood!) However, I have made an amazing discovery that will forever change my perception of human digestion. Are you ready?

Heartburn really hurts.

I know, I know. It's fairly trite, but for me, this is big news. Before last month, I had never experienced heartburn, and I am ashamed to admit that I had absolutely no idea what heartburn sufferers go through. I suppose that the endless commercials for heartburn remedies on American TV should really have clued me in to the fact that this is a major problem for many people (and thus a major market), but somehow I missed the boat. I had always thought that it would feel like some minor irritation in the belly. If I had known that it was like having molten lava poured into your chest, I would undoubtedly have been much more sympathetic to sufferers for the past 38 years. I apologize to all of the chronic heartburn sufferers of the world for my shameful ignorance.

A recent scientific study suggested that the old wives' tale about heartburn during pregnancy may actually be correct (I'll try to find the link and post it soon). Apparently, if the mother has severe heartburn, the baby is much more likely to be born with a lot of hair.

I must be pregnant with a baby gorilla.