I spoke with an old friend this morning. H has featured in my blog before, when she lost her IVF twins at 19 weeks and 20 weeks last spring to an incompetent cervix. This was followed by a life-threatening uterine infection. H has been through a lot.
Since I've been in Korea, we had been in touch every few days or at most every week for a while, when she suddenly went completely silent in late July. I have been worrying a bit, but thought that her silence might just indicate her inability to cope with my ongoing pregnancy in light of her own losses, which would have been completely understandable, so I didn't push. Finally, though, a few days ago I phoned her with a whole speech planned in my head about the fact that I didn't want to talk about me, but just really wanted her to know that I am thinking about her and that I am here for her any time she wants to talk about HER. Well, she wasn't there when I phoned, but then this morning she surprised me with the news that she did another round of IVF in July, and is now 12 1/2 weeks pregnant.
Her high-risk OB/GYN estimates that her chances of ending up with living babies is only about 50%, in light of her history of preterm labor and her twin pregnancy.
I just don't know how to react. On the one hand I am ecstatic that she has a shot of having the family of her dreams after so much unhappiness, and I am SO proud of her for not giving up. It took a lot of courage to walk into the RE's office again, and I really admire her for finding it somehow. I congratulated her from the bottom of my heart, as I do feel that every pregnancy for an infertile mom is something to be celebrated.
On the other hand, I simply cannot understand how a medical professional could transfer THREE embryos (two good-quality embryos, one poor) to a patient with a history of cervical incompetence associated with a twin pregnancy. Yes, she had a slightly higher chance of pregnancy with a multi-embryo transfer, but she had a much better chance of actually taking home a living baby with a single embryo transfer. Is the BFP really worth the risk of the loss of TWO more babies?
I am hoping and praying for a good outcome. But I'm also terrified. And angry.