Thursday, February 1, 2007

What, me worry?

I don't know if I'm in deep denial, or if I'm actually feeling surprisingly sane, given that my next IVF cycle will be starting any day now. Since sanity has never been one of my strong suits, I'm going to have to vote for denial. Honestly, I haven't thought about IVF, or fertility in general for more than a couple of minutes per day, and when I do think about it, it's mainly sorting through scheduling issues, rather than actually stressing. I'd be worried that denial is a sign of deeper issues, but hey, it's working for me, so why fight it?

One of the reasons that I haven't been thinking about it too much is that I'm so bloody busy. There's been a lot happening at work (all good, just time consuming), and I've also been keeping my second New Year's resolution with a vengeance. In the interest of embracing my life here in Korea, I went out of town last weekend to visit an old Korean village, will be going out of town this weekend to visit some temples, and have signed up for a Korean language class. It may be overkill, but I've realized that it would be so easy to just let the time go by and do nothing, and then have the rest of my life to regret not taking advantage of this amazing opportunity.

The up side of being overscheduled is that I have no time to worry about how this cycle will go. The down side is that if my period comes early, I'm up the creek without the proverbial paddle. I'm supposed to see the RE on the second day of my cycle to have a scan and start suppression meds. However, if I'm out of town when my period arrives, this will be difficult. So, while I normally look forward to starting treatments, I'm hoping that my period doesn't arrive until Monday at the earliest, and hopefully not until later in the week. It's looking good, since I haven't had any PMS symptoms yet, but you never know. My period has proven time and time again that it has a wicked sense of humor.


Marie-Baguette said...

Please don't hate me for what is going to follow.
I don't think it is a good idea to have cycles back to back. Please take a long break, learn to enjoy Korea, do stuff, and then go back to the treatments. I am no doctor, but the stress generated by IVF on both the mind and the body can not be good. Please think about it.

Sara said...

M-B, Thanks for being honest with me. I really appreciate the fact that you're making the effort (and the risk of a bad reaction on my part) to offer me advice. So, of course I won't hate you silly! It's nice to know that you care!

I have given it a lot of thought. Two weeks ago, I was NOT ready for another attempt. Now, I think I'm as ready as I'll ever be. When I talked with my doctor, she was not at all discouraging about trying again after only one cycle off. So, I'm not doing this against medical advice or anything. I'm also not moving ahead quickly out of sheer impatience. I admit to being a bit impatient in general, but I've certainly learned not to expect instant happiness when it comes to fertility! The issue is that I have a very heavy travel schedule in March, April, and May, and possibly in June. So, while it is technically possible for me to cycle in March, it will mean that I'd have to get on a plane a few days after transfer. That means I'd have to take PIO with me on two transpacific flights, and give myself my own injections for two weeks, as my hubby isn't coming along. This strikes me as a lot more stressful than just doing it now.

The really annoying thing is that I'd have NO problem with trying to cancel these trips if I needed to because I was pregnant, but somehow cancelling important things becausee I'm trying to GET pregnant just doesn't hold much water with me as an excuse after 2.5 years! Why isn't there such a thing as an infertility leave?