Something amazing happened today. I'm just not sure that it happened to me.
My transfer time was 11 am, so I had plenty of time in the morning to relax, get a nice shot of progesterone, and generally go about my favorite activities before heading in to the clinic. We decided that there was not much point in having my Mystery man go with me to the clinic, since I was going to be on bed rest for three hours after, and they don't let the spouses come in with you. He has been a total trouper about coming with me to everything, but I just really didn't see how having him sit in a waiting room for 3.5 hours would really do me any good, so I just asked him to be there when I came out to ride home with me.
When I got there, I checked in as usual, and was quickly called back, along with five other women, to the same area in which we were prepared for our retrievals. I'm embarrassed to say that I'm not sure if any of the other women there were waiting with me for retrievals on Tuesday or not. I guess I've been in my own little mental world throughout this all. Anyway, we changed in the locker room again, and then waited to be called. I should mention that while the gowns fit the other women here perfectly, and look quite fetching, the tie that is supposed to be around the waist falls just below my boobs, and on me, the skirt is decidedly mini. I think I was taller than everyone else there by at least five inches.
Anyway, I was called first, and they had me go into the same room as the retrieval, and get up onto a gurney with my feet up on the end. There weren't any stirrups, it was just like a normal hospital bed on wheels. Then the doctor came in. It wasn't my normal doc (she had warned me that she wouldn't be there), but to my great surprise and delight, he spoke passable English. He immediately told me to look at the monitor (the same one from retrieval), and there on the screen were four gorgeous embryos. Now I realize that I may be biased, but they really looked beautiful to me. Each was 7-8 cells, nice and round, and just generally pleasant-looking. Then I saw a big pipe come in and suck them up. The doctor said "you have four very nice embryos--very good", and then without further ado, very gently put in the speculum. He told me to relax, and then within a few seconds they were in! Just like that. It was actually easier than any of the IUI's that I have had. He also said that my lining looked really good.
I don't know what to do with all of this good news. I want to be happy. I AM happy, but I also realize that it doesn't mean anything if at least one of those little guys doesn't decide to stick. I've seen so many people have great cycles up to this point, and then end up with a negative. So, I'm trying to just remember that this is all a good sign that it might work some day, without getting up too much hope for this particular cycle. (I admit that I did hold the phone to my belly a few minutes ago, so my sister in the USA could say some encouraging words to the little guys, but I don't think that counts as a sign that I've lost my mind. Do you?)
As for the part about there being four, well, I'm just trying not to think about that. I had been planning to ask to transfer only three, but clearly the doctor had other ideas, and honestly, I'm kind of glad that I didn't have to make the choice. There are a couple more that are still being incubated, and will be frozen if they still look decent on Sunday.
After the transfer, they wheeled me into the resting area. A few minutes later, they wheeled in one of the other women. Then another, then another. In the end, there were six of us, all lying there together. It was a bit dull, resting for three hours, but they gave us a nice lunch, and a lovely foot massage (free!), so it wasn't so bad. As I was lying there, I realized that given this clinic's success rates, at least two or three of the women there had probably just had their actual take-home babies put inside of them. This could have made me feel competitive, but actually, I found it really inspiring to think about the fact that someone who had been through all of this actually was realizing their dream, right there. Today. With me in the room. How utterly amazing.
Now I'm just hoping that today, my clinic was six for six.